It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
