Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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