did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
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His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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