yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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