I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
