I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
