My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's always time for handjobs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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