She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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