You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
