I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
