From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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