It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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