How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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