your parents love me but you hate me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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