she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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