i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize