i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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