these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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