I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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