I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's Friday. Sex?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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