Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.