definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?