Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i think im in europe. pls send help