So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
