So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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