i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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