Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
