ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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