You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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