smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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