I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
