I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
