12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
