Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
