I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize