wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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