all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
