The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
