is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
