Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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