it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize