You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
