It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
