the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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