Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
