hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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