she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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