i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
