YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
