i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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