this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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