where does the pee come out of this thing
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
