Pappa wants mamma naked
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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