dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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