I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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