PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
