I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
do nipples grow back?
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