i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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