he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
