How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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