I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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