We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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