we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
