OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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